


All of the stars

by MissMin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depressed yams, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Stars, tsukki is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMin/pseuds/MissMin
Summary: "I think I'm depressed, Tsukki."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tw-depression

If you asked him, Tsukishima would not admit to a lot of things. He wouldn't admit to having a dinosaur collection, or that he sometimes sings in the shower when he thinks no one can hear him. He would not admit to having a tiny pet kitten that he would sometimes curl up with at night, or the fact that he'd cried the first time he watched titanic. He wouldn't admit to anything that could possibly damage the image he'd worked so hard to create for himself.

Despite such a tough, emotionless exterior however, there was one thing that Kei could never deny no matter how hard he may try. He was completely and utterly in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi.

His best friend was the most beautiful being to have ever existed probably ever in his opinion. The freckles that dotted the boy's face were stars that could create an endless possibility of constellations. His eyes were so warm, and so intriguing that Kei found it hard not to get lost in them. His smile, though, his smile was probably the best of all. It was rare to see Yamaguchi without a smile, but even so, each and every time he smiled it made Tsukishima's heart melt.

He tried to play it off cool, as he didn't want to ever have to admit his silly feelings, and it seemed to be working. Nobody ever seemed suspicious about his feelings toward Yamaguchi, but deep down he was just a lovestruck teenager. He almost hated how cliche it was to fall in love with his best friend, but he couldn't think of anyone else in the world that he wanted. Not when Yamaguchi Tadashi existed. What were the chances that the stars could exist so close to him?

He never wanted those stars to burn out.

One day before volleyball practice he found Yamaguchi crying on the floor of the changing room with his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in them. When he entered the room his friend just looked up at him with the saddest expression on his face (Kei swore he could feel physical pain in chest from the sight) and whimpered two heartbreaking words.

"Sorry Tsukki."

And even though he knew absolutely nothing about comforting people, and was absolute shit at helping anyone, Tsukishima was on the floor beside his friend in a heartbeat, circling his arms around the crying boy.

"It's okay," he whispered, even though he had no idea if anything was okay or why Tadashi was even crying for that matter. He just knew he wanted it to stop. "Don't be sorry," he added, because the most incredible person in the entire world should not be apologizing to him for literally nothing while sobbing on a dirty locker room floor.

"Sometimes I just feel like this," Yamaguchi whimpered, barely audible.

"Like what?" Kei asked, trying to think of a time that Yamaguchi had ever been like this before. He couldn't.

"Sad."

Tsukishima frowned, pulling the boy in even closer. Yamaguchi let his head fall against Kei's chest and took deep, shaky breaths while the talker boy rubbed circleds on his back.

"Why do you feel sad?" He asked, hoping it wasn't going too far. He just wanted to know. How long had this been going on? How long had Yamaguchi been trying to hide it? Tsukishima realized that maybe his friend also had secrets that he would never admit to, and it made his heart sink.

Yamaguchi gripped Tsukishima'a sweater a bit tighter before answering. "Because I'm just mediocre. All I'll ever be is just the average, weird kid that nobody really wants around, you know? I know it's stupid but you don't understand, Tsukki. You're not like me. You don't understand at all. I hate myself."

Tsukishima's heart dropped. How could he hate himself? "You're right, I don't understand." Kei shifted a bit so that he could look at Yamaguchi, who moved to meet his friend's eyes. "I don't understand because I think you're the most incredible person I've ever met. You're not mediocre, so stop saying that. Someone like you shouldn't hate themself."

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi spoke quietly. "It's okay."

"No it's not okay," Kei said, feeling defensive.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it fucking matters! You're my best friend and I don't want you to feel like you're not important. The team loves you. All of them. All of us need you. We all want you around. I want you around-"

"Tsukki-"

"Dammit Tadashi let me finish."

"Why do you even care?" Yamaguchi's question was sudden and quiet and timid and it left them both in silence for a minute.

"How could I not care?" Kei replied quietly. How could Tadashi not see just how beautiful and incredible he was? "You are everything." Could Tadashi not see see that? We wished the freckled boy could see what he saw.

Tadashi didn't say anything else, he just held onto his friend and buried his face in his sweater so he wouldn't cry anymore. They didn't end up going to practice that day. Tsukishima took Yamaguchi to his house, where the shorter of the two flopped onto Tsukki's bed, hugging one of his pillows as if it were his own. He'd been in this room so many times, and he knew Kei so well that it might as well have been.

Tsukishima slid into the bed next to his friend, finding Yamaguchi's hand and holding it in his own.

"I'm sorry that we missed practice," Yamaguchi whispered.

"Screw practice," Kei muttered, rolling over to face his friend. A long silence passed between them, both just staring into the other's eyes. Tsukishima felt so confused and heartbroken. He wanted Yamaguchi to be happy. That's all he ever wanted.

"I think I'm depressed Tsukki."

The statement came like a wave, with little warning, but suddenly pulling Kei under, terrifying him. He had no idea what he could even say. He didn't want to say 'I'm sorry' as that wouldn't do anything at all. His friend just told him what was probably his biggest secret ever and he was just laying there like an idiot, staring at him with a blank face. He supposed he would just have to tell him his biggest secret too.

"I think I'm in love with you, Tadashi."

Yamaguchi's eyes widened and his eyes filled with tears again. The boy scooted closer to Kei, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He clutched Tsukki's sweater tightly, never wanting to let go. The taller boy just held him tightly, trying to think of ways to piece the stars back together.

That day, Kei decided that Tadashi was made of galaxies and he also realized that the stars were broken pieces of a puzzle, but that was okay. He liked it here. It didn't matter that Yamaguchi was broken, Kei wanted to stay by the boy's side for a long long time, possibly even forever. Probably forever.

He knew that Tadashi would have more bad days, and that he would be down on himself sometimes, and that depression didnt just go away. He knew a lot was wrong with his friend, but Tsukishima promised himself that he would always be there to assure him of how perfect he was. That he would be there on the good days and the bad days. That he would do anything to make his friend feel better.

That's what you do. When you love someone you make them happy in whatever way you can. You try to cheer them up when they're down, and you stay by their side as long as they want you there.

That night Tadashi curled up against his friend, his head on his chest, and fell asleep. "'Night Tsukki," were the last words to leave his lips.

"I love you," Kei breathed out, not even loud enough for anyone to hear, but still there. He fell asleep tracing constellations on Yamaguchi's skin with his finger, trying to piece the constellations back together.

If you asked him, Tsukishima would not admit to a lot of things. But that's because he doesn't need to admit them to just anyone, because he doesn't tell his secrets to just anyone, you know.

He tells them to the stars.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Please comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
